The Pope jokes and possible candidate suggestions have already flooded Twitter (my favourite candidate suggestion being Beyoncé obviously). But I thought I'd write up a little something about why it's not a bad thing that Pope Benedict XVI is resigning.
The Pope's announcement can be read HERE on the Vatican Radio's website.
So, it's been 8 years since Pope Benedict XVI was elected as John Paul II's successor, and over the years he has made it very clear where he stands on topics such as homosexuality, the ordination of women as priests, and stem cell research (he's not having any of it). He is the first Pope in 600 years to resign, because it's kind of an unspoken rule that the papacy should end with the Pope's death, after giving all he's got religiously to the reigning of the Catholic Church.
In his statement (made over Vatican Radio, see the link above) he claims to no longer have the strength required for the fulfilment of the role. Now, I know there will totally be conspiracy theorists jumping onto the back of this news, and yes, maybe it WAS the Vatican that have pushed for him to make the decision to step down, maybe he HAS gone a little loopy, OR MAYBE, he's just an old guy who really feels as though he's given all he can in the role of Head of the Catholic Church. It's kind of a big job! Part of me respects him for deciding to let someone else step up to the role, instead of forcing himself to carry on until death.
Maybe he has recognised that with his outdated, slightly ridiculous views he just wasn't going to be able to carry the Catholic Church forward into 2013 and beyond.
All I hope for now, when Conclave is over (which for those of you who don't know, is basically like locking all the men ever nominated for the best leading male Oscar in a room and telling them to decide between them who wins the award - you'd like to think as religious men, the Cardinals would be diplomatic and lovely, but I bet some nasty shit gets thrown around in there!) that a younger (young in Pope terms - around 70 would be great) visionary will be elected, with modern views and a realistic approach to bringing the beliefs of the Catholic Church up to date with society's contemporary attitudes.
I have also taken the trouble to think of a few ways the Cardinals could decide on the next Pope.
- 'There's only one way to find out... FIIIIGHT!' (Harry Hill's TV Burp Style) - Just picture it, the Cardinals have been locked up for days, they've settled on the top two candidates, everybody is tired and starting to smell rather offensively (do they even wash during Conclave?!). The quickest and most comedic way to decide could be to dress the two candidates up in funny costumes and get them to battle it out during the commercial break of whatever TV show they're all watching!
- BOP-It Tournament - A less violent solution for an election process, although certainly no less adrenaline fuelled. The pressure is on when going head-to-head in a Bop-It contest. Fastest reaction times win, meaning the youngsters of the old bunch will instantly come out in top! The ultimate champion shall be crowned with the title of Pope!
- Total Wipeout (Cardinal Special) - This has got to be my favourite and best idea to use during Conclave! Of course the whole thing will be televised (Saturday Night prime time television!) and the obstacle courses will push the candidates to their mental and physical limits - filtering out those who may not be able to hack the demands of being Pope. It really is the perfect solution.
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